I’ve chosen to write about stress this week because it’s such an unbelievably common issue that I’m seeing within my marriage counseling practice. In fact, stress is one of the biggest factors negatively impacting marriage relationships today. The demands of modern life have resulted in many a couple putting their relationship at the bottom of the proverbial priority list. That is if their marriage even makes that priority list anymore
I’ve heard it said that If Satan can’t find a way to get us to be inactive; he will get behind us and push us to the extreme. Did you know that two-thirds of patients seen by doctors are seen for stress-related illnesses? Stress, especially chronic stress, has devastating effects on our physical and mental well being, and thus our marriages.
With full workweeks, running kids around to school and various activities, chores, church and community commitments, there is precious little time for kindling connectedness and romance. Without a continuous infusion of quality time, a relationship will languish and eventually end up on life support gasping for air. Slowly and steadily over the course of time as we allow the stresses of life to steal our joy of a happy marriage, that which we should cherish most begins to die. The tragedy I see all to often are couples, once the kids have left the nest, looking at each other like strangers they barely know. Worse yet, strangers they don’t even like. How does one look forward to their golden years with a person with whom they have absolutely no connection?
Though I can’t cover the complete gamut of stress reduction in this short blog, please let me give you a very important tip here. Just say “NO”. In her book, We Never Seem To Have Enough Time, author Catherine Pulsifer says, “We need to maintain a proper balance in our life by allocating the time we have. There are occasions where saying no is the best time management practice there is.” Say no to being involved with too many programs, too many commitments, too many must haves, too many keeping up with the Jones’.
Another stress reducing tip that seems so simple yet is so hard for many to grasp is getting and keeping your priorities straight. If you want a great marriage make God priority one. Make your husband or wife priority two, and be totally sold out to your marriage. Do this every single day and every other relationship and commitment you have will have far greater purpose, meaning, and joy.
Do we really have to have our schedules so jammed packed with activity? Do we have to work those really long hours? Do the kids have to be in every activity under the sun? Have we succumb to a “Crackberry” addiction? God wants us to enjoy our lives and our relationships. I doubt that Jesus was ever “stressed out!” He had a great ministry, but he also knew how to relax, get away, and just enjoy his family and friends
Jesus warned us not to let the “cares of this world” rob us of the abundant life that He promised. Remember, we create our own schedules – no one else – and we have the responsibility to take care that we carve out time to invest in those people most important to us. Learn to say “NO” to so many activities that have absolutely no eternal benefit. Don’t allow “good” to take the place of “best”! Keep your priorities straight. Be sure to give your spouse some special time and attention today and everyday. You’ll be happy you did, and so will they!
Luke 21:34 “But take heed to yourselves and be on your guard, lest your hearts be overburdened and depressed with the giddiness and headache and nausea of self-indulgence and drunkenness, and worldly worries and cares pertaining to the business of this life, and lest that day come upon you suddenly like a trap or a noose.”
Five Things Every Marriage Needs!
- Altruism: Couples who put each other’s happiness first are much more satisfied with their marriages than ones who don’t.
- Friends: One-on-one time is nice and necessary, but you both also need the social outlet, companionship, and support of others.
- Commitment: Total dedication to the relationship means you’re more likely to work at keeping it strong.
- In-Jokes: They may sound like something out of junior high, but those pet names and silly secrets help keep you connected.
- Rituals: Things like texting “I love you,” traditions such as going to the same restaurant on every anniversary, and nightly kisses energize and enrich you both.
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Posted by Janet Kester 
